Request Denied
by Jennifer Hart
Summary: Set during Marine Down. Kate has to make a phone call. Other Character POV.


**Title: Request Denied**

**Rating: Only K+**

**Classification: Humor**

**Spoilers: Marine Down**

**Disclaimers: The more outrageous statements in this story do come from an actual customer service call I got to be one party to. But I don't own the show and am in no way getting paid for this, just a whole lot of satisfaction and fun.**

**Summary: Set during _Marine Down_. Kate has to make a phone call. Other Character POV.**

"Thank you for holding, my name is Erinn, how may I satisfy your needs?"

"I'm sorry – what did you just say?"

It's a woman on other end of the line and I breathe a sigh of relief. Ever since our stupid bosses decided we had to use this new greeting, it has been a constant embarrassment whenever I have to talk to a male customer.

"How may I assist you, ma'am?" I answer politely. They only require us to say that stupid thing once – hanged if I'm going to repeat it when I don't have to.

"Uh, right." The woman takes a deep breath. "I need to inquire about a warranty for my PDA."

"All right, can I get your account number please?"

"266-837-497," the woman answers.

"All right, just one moment as I pull your account up, and while I'm doing that I would like to take a moment to tell you that I care about your issue and will take ownership to resolve it today." Another of our company's asinine requirements. I am so close to switching jobs right now it isn't even funny.

"Uh, okay." The woman sounds uncertain. That was a better response than my last caller. The guy burst out laughing and asked who the moron was who said I had to say that. I sincerely wished I could have answered him.

"Could I please get the name on the account?" I request.

"Caitlin Todd."

"And is that who I'm speaking with today?"

"Yes."

"Okay, and Ms. Todd, can I just get the last four digits of your social security number?"

"1973." Her answer matches the number listed on the account and I nod in satisfaction, even though Ms. Todd will not be able to see me.

"Okay, and you said you wanted to talk about a warranty?" I ask.

"Yes, I need to replace my PDA," Ms. Todd answers.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"It was damaged in an...accident and no longer works," Ms. Todd replies with some slight hesitation.

"What type of accident, ma'am?" I inquire.

"It...It was shot with a bullet."

Well, that's a new one.

"I see," I say carefully. "And may I ask how that happened?"

"A...coworker was practicing some shooting and the bullet happened to hit where my PDA was sitting―thankfully not on my person."

I chuckle at that, relieved to have the freedom to do so. "So, this was a work-related incident?"

"Yes, I'm an NCIS agent."

"Oh, my brother works for them." They're wheat inspectors. To my knowledge they don't even carry a gun. This just keeps getting better.

"Really!" She sounds surprised. "Most people haven't even heard of us."

"It's a small world." And apparently this lady is pretty small-minded to think I would actually fall for this one, but I'm not complaining. It's one of the most enjoyable phone calls I've had all week. "May I put you on hold for a moment please, while I check to see if your warranty covers gunshots?" It's all I can do to keep a straight face as I say it.

"Oh, certainly." I quickly press the hold button and burst out laughing. Now I get to call my supervisor and make sure of what I'm already suspecting. This should be fun. I dial the extension.

"Hey, Erinn, what's up?"

"Hi, Brett. Just a quick question. Do warranties for the PDAs cover bullets?"

"What?" He sounds like he's choking, not that I blame him.

"I have a customer on the phone who says her PDA was shot with a bullet by a co-worker, which is pretty interesting in itself since she works for the National Crop Inspection Service."

I can hear chuckling on the other end and I grin. "Okay then," Brett replies. "Well, I'm sorry, but no, the warranty definitely does not cover gunshots. But you could give her a $10.00 courtesy credit for her originality, if you'd like." He laughs again and so do I.

"I didn't think so. Thanks Brett."

"Any time, Erinn." I hang up the call and go back to my customer.

"Ms. Todd, thank you so much for holding. I'm sorry, but our warranties do not cover bullets. I can however give you a one-time $10.00 courtesy credit towards the purchase of your next PDA."

"I thought you might say that. Thank you anyway," Ms. Todd replies.

"Is there anything else I can assist you with today?" I inquire.

"No, thank you. I'll call back to order my replacement PDA."

"Okay, well, than thank you very much for calling Aeron Wireless and you have yourself a wonderful day."

"You too."

I hang up and apply the $10.00 credit to Ms. Todd's account, then set about to do my call notes, chuckling to myself the entire time. Customers have given me a lot of odd explanations for why their phones or PDAs needed to be replaced or why they wanted to call in their warranty, but a wheat inspector saying hers had been shot?

Okay, then. Whatever. I'm thinking she might need a leave of absence from her job ―apparently she's inhaled one too many wheat stalks recently.

I save the notes and press the button to take my next call.

THE END


End file.
